...more to come i swear

The new site is still in the making. I'm working on adding new people to post on this section. LOL.

so far these are the people that will be posting.
myself
dean


is your name here? do you want it to be? e-mail me and tell me.

a new site is in the making, just hold on to your panties.

I wrote this letter to my friend ashley tonight.

Ashley,
The truth is I'm never going to be the person you remember me as. This whole thing with Bradi has me so fucked that I'm never going to go back to who I was. I know this is hard for you to understand but when Bradi told me that her love for me died. A huge part of who I was died. Its true. I know you think its just because I'm depressed and stuff but its not. That girl was the whole world to me. I have this huge feeling that she wants to date Dobie, or Brian or something, and I know she is telling me that she doesn't. But I just can't believe her. There is a part of me that thinks that when she found out that dobie "wants to have a crush on her" she wants him. Or the fact that Brian and Tessa are no more, that she might want to try to go out with Brian,since she did like him before me. I just don't know. I just don't see how she could just not want me anymore. I was soo nice to that girl. My heart belongs to her. It has for the last seven months, and It will for the rest of my life. Bradi changed me in a way no other person will ever be able to do. And with her not in my life now, I can't ever go back to the person I was. I'm dead inside. My willingness to do things to better my life has died. My sense of existence is gone. My reality is shattered. Everything I've known to be happy is dead. I can't even fake happiness anymore. This week has been the longest and worst week in my whole life. What I have felt this last week I wouldn't wish on the person I hate the most. The void in my life right now is so huge it makes me question why I even try. The thing is with Barbie, is it will never happen. Even if I wanted to it would fail. She will never be what Bradi was to me. I know that everything in Bradi and my relationship that was bad was my fault. I fucked it up. I'm a fucking retard. No matter how hard I try I will never have her back. I know this. But its something I can't get over. Every girl I look at is ugly. Bradi wa the best thing that ever happened to me. She is the most beautiful, wonderful thing I know of. Nothing and no one can even come close to Bradi in my eyes. Nothing will. I wish she even felt like an 1/8th of how i feel for her. If she did she would want to work things out. But she doesn't. I'm fucked. I don't know where my life is going to go now that she isn't a part of it. But I know I will subconsciencely destroy myself. Just driving home in the fog, I was thinking if I were to get into a car accident. And I almost wanted it to happen. I found myself speeding up. Even though I couldn't see 10 feet past my car, and this roads are icey as hell. This is something I have never done. I have never even thought about suicide, and not that I think I would ever really consider it. Its in my mind. God fucking dammit! I can't function. I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't sleep, eat, or do anything. I'm too sick, I'm in too much pain. I don't want anything but her. I know you're worried about this Barbie girl, but i'm sure nothing will come of it.

well the site has been changed once again. I'm fucking lazy and feeling shitty. so this is the new site. its slowly dying.

Pimpin' ain't easy but its necessary, I chase the bitches like tom chases jerry.

I'm on my way to Townsend to pick up my sweet ride. seen below.

Its a tight dogg eh? All the brothas say hell ya.

I got a pioneer cd player for it in my back pack. I was looking at speakers at wal-mart and there are some pioneer ones for like 60 bucks. Can anyone say Christmas present? Fork Yeah! Anyways i'm off like a prom dress.

Peace out yo's.